Tour de FUCK YOU

Cyclists... Now I have your hated attention, let me begin my latest rant.

So you're driving to work during peak hour, traffic is bad, rage is already through the roof, suddenly the traffic starts moving and you reach 50km! wow high five! Now let me introduce Neff, the spasticated cyclist who thinks its fucking awesome to ride on the road during peak hour traffic. Wtf man? He keeps peddling like he's in tour de france, when in reality he's actually that little annoying fuck tard of a kid that rode around your neighborhood smashing into shit because no one taught the stupid little asshole how to fucking ride a bike... You know the one? Your parents used to drive past him really slow because the dickhead would fall off his bike so many times and you just weren't sure if you would accidently run him over...

Ok so I've gone off a little here but do you get the idea?? For fuck sake, stay off the god damn road and ride on the path if it's there you stupid lycra wearing son of bitch. Seriously, why hold up EVERY FUCKING CAR... You look like a homeless cunt riding to get a free steak... Jesus you annoy me!

You know what I'm going to start doing? I'm going to drive in front of you soooooo slow, then when you try to overtake me I'm going to open my door and throw a fucking bag of drippy shit at you! I don't FUCKING CARE... I HATE you cyclists soooo much that every time I see one of you my eye starts to twitch... Even by writing this you've managed to ruin my entire day.

One Direction? No Direction - Left turn at Bieber feat Mr WorldWide

Music... What the fuck happened to you? Every god damn time I turn the radio on (which is Monday to Friday due to the joys of driving to work) I have to listen to 'Mr WorldWide'. Some of the lyrics make me feel like smashing my face into a bucket of broken glass, I mean 'Mr WorldWide'?? really? a bald man who looks like Moby's forgotten son. I mean can't you just see this happening? (see below scenario)

You: *walking up the stairs in your own home*
Mr World Wide: *proceeds to sniff your feet as you're walking up*
You: WTF was that?
Mr WorldWide: *jumps out and screams* 'Mr WorldWide', and then begins to rub oil on his balding head while touching himself...

Creepy right? I could just see him doing this (if he hasn't already). Where oh where did beautiful music go? beats that made you feel like dancing, lyrics that made you cry, sounds that reminded of you a tough time in your life? or of a great time? I could go on for ages, but I need to get back to work :-/